“Success always leaves footprints.” ~Booker T. Washington
As I entered the woods and headed down the path of self-discovery and personal growth, the path less traveled, I fixed my eyes upon the ground. I knew that if I looked for clues, I would find the pieces to the puzzle cast aside on the path by those who’d passed before me.
I remember someone once telling me that success leaves tracks. At the time, I didn’t exactly understand what that meant. However, over time, I began to understand that as individuals progress on their path of self-discovery and personal growth, they cast aside the elements no longer serving them.
These remnants sometimes contain the clues to the same challenges we face. The individual that passed the test before us probably cast them aside at the completion of their QUEST. These discarded lessons often hold the answers we are searching for on our own individual quests.
It’s easy to believe that if something was cast aside, then it must have no value. There is nothing further than the truth. As a matter of fact, it is well known that what is one man’s trash, is another man’s treasure. And where are all these things cast aside, where might one search or hunt for all these pieces that might hold the answers to whatever QUEST you currently find yourself on?
Since ideas are difficult to see unless they are placed where we might find them, it can be easy to walk right past one without ever seeing it. For those of you reading this who enjoy hiking, or if you’ve ever walked anywhere in one direction and then turned around, you might very well understand how the trail looked completely different when we were walking in the opposite direction. On any given out and back, we will find ourselves seeing things we never saw on the way out to whatever our destination was, and on the way back, finding ourselves in wonder and awe of all that we missed on the way.
This is not unlike life itself. In our early years, when we’re on the path of striving, deep in the hustle and grind of survival and all that’s required just to make ends meet so we can take care of our families, we often miss some of the most important elements. If we had just slowed down a little bit, maybe, just maybe, we might have seen them strewn along the path.
What if we were so busy on the hamster wheel of life that we let a book or article recommendation slide right past us? What if that one book or article held not all the answers, but the one we needed to help get us back on track? And what if once back on track we discovered a new way of living? Don’t be a statistic. Slow down. As my friend and coach Michael O’Brien always reminds us, slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
Remember to Pause, Breathe, and Reflect…
We must also understand our why because littered along the path of personal progress are a multitude of shiny objects all vying for our attention and if we don’t know our why, if we aren’t crystal clear on our destination, then we will surely be distracted by one of the many other objects competing for our time.
There’s a phrase that helps to keep us on our path and that phrase is FOCUS. When we are clear about our destination, when we are clear about our QUEST, we will embrace all obstacles, all challenges, all difficulties. Anything the unknown throws at us will simply be part of the process because we are focused on the prize, we are focused on our goal, we are focused on the completion of our QUEST.
What does it mean to focus? Here is one definition!
Follow
One
Course
Until
Successful
Attributed to Robert Kiyosaki.
Another one I am very fond of is: Follow One Commitment Until Successful!
In three words it’s; Decide. Commit. Succeed!
When we are focused on our path, when we know what we’re searching for, when we understand that the only thing between us and our desired outcome is the gap between where we are and where we want to be, then all we must do is diligently work backwards to slowly close that gap, one day at a time.
Pulling from the great Steven Covey, “Begin with the end in mind.”
When we are focused, we can pick one specific thing to work on at a time, and when we accomplish whatever that is, then we can move on to the next thing. I know there are many that would argue it’s not that hard to multitask. Science would tell us otherwise, and if you’re interested in digging into this for yourself, then I recommend you investigate the results of multi-tasking and I’m sure you will find, exactly as I did, we’re not nearly as efficient as we believe we are when we divide our efforts instead of focusing on what’s most important to us.
Is it possible there might be a manual on how to achieve what one wants in life? Is it possible there might be a multitude of manuals available to us depending upon whatever it is we want for our life, or at least whatever it is we believe we want for our life, because often we don’t even know what we really want until we give ourselves permission to begin the QUEST? Many times, the answer we are seeking will only reveal itself to us once we begin the journey. We must be taking steps in the direction of whatever it is we desire to discover whatever it is we genuinely want, because sometimes what we desire is different than what we think we want.
As we grow, as we expand, as our consciousness expands, we suddenly find ourselves wondering why we ever thought so small to start with. A simple analogy to explain this concept is that if you only had a teaspoon and you went to the ocean you could only ever bring back a teaspoon at a time. As we become more aware we understand if we choose to, we can go to the ocean with a bucket. And eventually we come to understand that we needn’t take anything from the ocean at all, we can simply be with it and in being with it, be shown everything.
Life is full of lessons; the question is, are we ignoring the lessons or are we learning from the lessons as we experience them? Every lesson we ignore will repeat itself until learned. Therefore, it might just be a good idea to become a better student. And how does one go about becoming a better student? And what of these manuals that were spoken of earlier? Where would one find such a manual?
There is a secret place, often used, that holds almost every answer. It is a place not unlike a secret garden that if you do not enter you could never understand how much beauty resides inside, you could never visualize all the colors, all the patterns, all the details, all the variety that exists.
And what is this place of which I speak?
It is called, the library. In almost every town across the country, and across the globe for that matter, you will find a library. And hidden within the walls of this miraculous facility you will find answers to every question you could ever possibly ask based on any topic you could ever want to investigate.
The library can help you avoid the distractions of the internet!
How many times have you begun a Google search on a specific topic only to find yourself two hours later wondering how on earth you’re looking at cat videos? Or whatever other distraction caught your attention while you were in the process of searching for what was most important to you. And now, completely distracted, you can’t even remember what you were searching for to start with…
On the path of both success and failure there are multitudes of information. What I referred to as what’s been discarded hasn’t really been discarded at all but instead, captured on a page, ready for application. One of the greatest challenges of learning new information is application. It does us almost no good to read something and then not apply what we have learned.
Wisdom is not the accumulation of knowledge. Wisdom is the application of knowledge.
When we apply what we learn, we engage in the process of growth. When we grow, we get better, we learn new ways of doing things that may have once been ignored or accomplished through habit. When we engage in intentional learning and intentional application of what we have learned, this begins the process of change. This begins the process of growth. This is what personal growth and development is all about. It’s not about how many books you’ve read, it’s about how many lessons you’ve applied to your own life that make sense for you, based on what you want, that determines how much you have grown and how much you will grow.
Just like those who came before you, as you grow, you will discard what’s no longer serving you. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have value. It just simply means it didn’t have value any longer for you and as you discard what you no longer need, you’ll be leaving a clue for the next person that comes behind you as to how they might move in the direction they want their life to go. It’s possible the piece you discard will be exactly what someone else needed or what they were looking for to make sure that they could grow in the direction they choose.
What if you decided right now, today, to turn your desire to learn more, to know more, to become more, into your own personal QUEST? What if you made a commitment to learn as much as you possibly can about whatever it is that excites you the most and what if everything you need is available for free and hidden in a place where you never thought to look?
Here’s a question? How much does a library card cost? Yep, you guessed it, they are free! I believe the reason there is no real value attached to a library card is because it’s free. The truth however is that a library card is invaluable. A library card represents the golden key that unlocks the door of opportunity. What would you do if you had the golden key to everything? Would you let that card sit idle in your purse or wallet, or would you begin to use it to accumulate the knowledge you need to achieve whatever it is you desire for your one wild and precious life?
Yes, the library is full of poetry as well. If you want to read about your one wild and precious life from a book instead of a Google search, then you could go to your Public Library and read all about The Summer Day. Or you could get some books that might help you create the one wild and precious life of your dreams, some books that might help you design and create your QUEST…
Whatever it is you choose to do, be, or become, there is a good chance that everything you need is waiting for you in your Public Library. The only thing missing from the equation, is you, and the application of what you learn. Learning without application is folly. Make a commitment today to go to your Public Library and begin your QUEST…
Here’s a philosophy:
Read, Learn, Apply, Rinse, Repeat!
Advance Confidently is the title of my next book, you will have to wait to celebrate its release as I celebrate my 60th birthday. I have concluded the world doesn’t need another self-help book from me right now, so I am listening to my muse and will write a sci fi personal growth story of self-discovery instead. Hmmm? Almost sounds like a QUEST, right? I believe you will be INSPIRED with the story that chose me to write it! I never saw it coming but now that it’s here, I can’t wait to share it with all of YOU! I know it will be worth the wait because that’s my commitment to you, my readers. Thanks in advance for your trust and patience!
In the meantime, I released a special audio short story on Twitter to commemorate my Independence Day and my 31st year of sobriety. You can watch/listen to the story here ( https://youtu.be/9zP4kk5OTlo ). You can find me on Twitter @bobby_kountz
Keep Pedaling, Keep Going, Keep Growing!
Advance Confidently!
If you enjoyed and found value in this article, please share it.
In Gratitude,
Bobby Kountz, Author, Speaker, Sobriety Scholar, Inspirationalist!
PS. You can find out more about me here. You can find my book on Amazon.
“Without adventure into the unknown, we fail to lay the foundation for any success.” ~Lailah Gifty Akita
This past weekend, August 7th and 8th, 2021, I joined thousands of cyclists and volunteers for my 8th Pan-Mass Challenge. This year marked the 42nd year of this miraculous cancer research fundraiser event. To learn more, simply go to https://PMC.org and you will be viewing one of the most miraculous charitable organizations on the planet. The founder, Billy Starr, is as my friend Michael says, a mensch!
Why I ride…
All riders who commit to one of the PMC routes have an opportunity to create a support my ride, or “Why I Ride” page. Yes, even the founder of the organization has his own page. You can find it under his name.
First, I ride because I can. Second, I ride in honor of all those who can’t and those who are no longer with us. Finally, I ride to make a difference, to create a small ripple of goodness that has the potential to spread across the country.
This year, I rode in honor of Ron, who after many years of fighting the good fight, lost his battle with this dreaded disease. Ron was a “True Hero.” Ron was indirectly responsible for me agreeing to take on my very first PMC back in 2014 when he offered me the use of one of his bikes.
As I was contemplating making a commitment to take on my very first PMC, I was battling my inner critic, I was battling the unknown… The voice of self-doubt was thunderously loud inside my head! You see, in 2014, not only was I not a cyclist, but I didn’t have a bike, I didn’t have a clue! I hadn’t ridden 1.92 miles, let alone 192 miles over 2-days, and I had no idea how I would ever get prepared to take on such an epic journey, the event that would eventually become my personal quest!
Ron however, he had other ideas. He must have somehow known what I could not know. He must have seen something in me that I had not yet seen in myself. I’m actually a bit embarrassed to admit it, but as I was basically whining to the cancer support group about not having a bike, that’s when Ron triumphantly raised his hand with the excitement of a school age child ready to answer the teachers question and he proudly stated he had a bike I could ride, and he would be happy to help get me started on my journey. Then he just looked at me with eyes that said: “Now, what are you going to do?” As the hair stood up on the back of my neck and long before I ever uttered the words yes, with my excuse now obliterated with his generous offer, I made a commitment in that moment to ride my first PMC.
I truly felt divinely guided to simply say YES!
Ron took great pride in being the catalyst for my commitment to ride the PMC! I still remember going to meet him to pick up the bike which we agreed would be available to me for purchase if I decided I liked it and it served me well for the ride. Ron graciously provided me with a helmet, a pair of gloves, and some clip in pedals for later. He said they would come in handy after I became accustomed to the bike.
When I said YES to the PMC, I really had no idea that what I was really saying yes to, was myself… I was out of shape, at least 20 pounds heavier than I wanted to be, and devoid of the kind of confidence required to take on an epic ride like the Pan-Mass Challenge. I remember asking Ron if he really thought I could complete the PMC and I remember him saying of course you can, “IF” you are willing to make a commitment to training for it.
What I didn’t know at the time was that prior to being diagnosed with cancer, Ron had been a serious cyclist, so he knew what it would take for me to properly prepare for my ride. His Multiple Myeloma diagnosis and subsequent treatment had ended his days of cycling, but I know he was vicariously continuing his journey by helping me to prepare for mine…
Shortly after getting my bike, I connected with Terry from The Bike Shop and went out for my first official training ride with a group of riders that he led on the weekend. Terry began teaching me what I needed to know, and he fit me to the bike I was riding. I still remember just how much of a difference a minor seat adjustment made. He talked me through shifting and how to make sure I was up and off the seat on a regular basis so my rear end wouldn’t get too sore as I developed my riding callouses.
Who knew there was such a thing?
Terry talked me through a training plan and explained the importance of making a commitment to ride regularly. I became a regular member of the weekend riding group. I was surprised how quickly I adapted to the process and before I even realized it, I started to feel like a “real” cyclist.
I remember planning out some of my longer rides and discussing the results of my experiences of trial and error with both Terry on the weekends and Ron at the support group meetings. When I told Ron how things were progressing, I remember the look of pride and satisfaction on his face as he knew he had been instrumental in me saying “YES” to myself! He looked just like the cat that ate the canary. I could see how what I was doing was so meaningful to him… I believe this was the first time I truly began to realize that what I was doing was no longer about me and more about what the experience was teaching me about myself and others. We each have the ability to make a difference, to create a positive ripple in the world…
As it turned out, taking my training seriously paid huge dividends, because my first PMC was the coldest, wettest, event in the 35-year history leading up to my ride! I remember like it was just yesterday looking down at my pedal to clip in and feeling that first innocent drop of rain on the back of my neck…
As the National Anthem finished playing in the background and the buzz of thousands of cyclists preparing to start turned into a drone of excitement as the countdown began, I remember feeling like I was about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime, the completion of my QUEST!
We were all to be tested that day as our trial by water unfolded. The rain that began as a steady drizzle quickly turned into a torrential downpour that continued throughout the entire day and the first 108 miles of the ride!
As we were tested by Mother nature, I remembered the look on Ron’s face the last time I saw him before heading off for my trip from Las Vegas to Boston and then to the starting line in Sturbridge, Massachusetts. I remember him saying “Go get em, you got this, you’re ready!”
I certainly didn’t feel ready. I would later come to realize that we are never “ready.” Well, not completely anyway, and that’s the difference between those that do and those that don’t. Those that do say YES even when they don’t feel ready and those that don’t wait for the magical day that never comes which is “someday.” They delude themselves into believing that “someday” they will be ready and that’s when they will finally say YES to themselves. The problem is that for most people, “someday” never comes… When they come to the end of their lives, they still have a stack of “somedays” and an hourglass that’s just been turned over for the last time…
Left now with a deep sense of regret, they become one of the statistics captured in Bronnie Ware’s book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
My Pan-Mass Challenge experience opened my eyes to a life I never knew existed. When I crossed the finish line of my two-day ride, I had been transformed from unsure to UNSTOPPABLE!
When I returned to Las Vegas, instead of returning the bike, a purchase was made instead. I have ridden the same bike every year in Ron’s honor… This year was no different, except it was completely different… It was the first year without Ron…
Shortly after the completion of my first ride, It soon also became my mission to share my experience with as many people as possible. Before I realized it, a book idea began to form in the back of my mind. There was just one problem! I wasn’t an author, and I knew absolutely nothing about writing a book.
Now transformed though, I wasn’t about to let my lack of knowledge keep me from fulfilling my QUEST. I don’t remember exactly when it was that I began writing my book, but I do remember it languishing uncompleted on the hard drive of my computer until I finally found the courage to acquire the knowledge and help, I needed to self-publish in commemoration of my 30th year of sobriety. So, on the 4th of July, in the year of the pandemic, I finally published The Someday Solution!
The story of Ron and many others make up the pages of my book and as I completed my first PMC in his absence, I wanted to capture the story in an article I could share with the rest of the world so they would know that not only did Ron’s life matter, but their lives matter too! You never know just how much your life will impact the life of someone else. There is no way to know just how far the ripple you start will spread.
One ripple can be like the wings of a butterfly beating on one side of the planet where the wind from the wings becomes a trade wind with the energy to carry a ship that leaves the harbor on its journey to complete its QUEST. Ron was for me, the butterfly effect! He allowed me to become the captain of my own ship! Today, I am piloting my vessel on my own personal quest across the pages of the globe to achieve and accomplish what’s important to me which is to help others achieve and accomplish whatever is important to them, so they can leave their mark on the world and fulfill the legacy of their destiny!
It’s possible that Ron’s destiny was to simply be the spark or the catalyst for the completion of my journey, but since I believe I am only just now coming into my prime, Ron will have to watch from the heavens above to see just how far his ripple spreads…
Written with #Gratitude for Ron and all those touched by cancer across our country and the globe. Thank You Ron! Thanks for riding with me this year and helping me up and over the hills as I completed my ride in your memory!
I will be forever #Grateful…
Advance Confidently is the title of my next book, you will have to wait to celebrate its release as I celebrate my 60th birthday. I have concluded the world doesn’t need another self-help book from me right now, so I am listening to my muse and will write a sci fi personal growth story of self-discovery instead. Hmmm? Almost sounds like a QUEST, right? I believe you will be INSPIRED with the story that chose me to write it! I never saw it coming but now that it’s here, I can’t wait to share it with all of YOU! I know it will be worth the wait because that’s my commitment to you, my readers. Thanks in advance for your trust and patience!
In the meantime, I released a special audio short story on Twitter to commemorate my Independence Day and my 31st year of sobriety. You can watch/listen to the story here ( https://youtu.be/9zP4kk5OTlo ). You can find me on Twitter @bobby_kountz
Keep Pedaling, Keep Going, Keep Growing!
Advance Confidently!
If you enjoyed and found value in this article, please share it.
In Gratitude,
Bobby Kountz, Author, Speaker, Sobriety Scholar, Inspirationalist!
PS. You can find out more about me here. You can find my book on Amazon.
“To begin is the most important part of any quest and by far the most courageous.” ~Plato
What would have us wrestling with the words of Plato? Why is it considered courageous to begin something new? Why do we become so comfortable in the familiar day to day mundane activities of our lives?
What is it that keeps us stuck and complacent when knowing full well we are capable of far more than we are currently producing or accomplishing?
Why do we settle for less? Why do we allow ourselves to accept less than what we know we deserve? Why do we lull ourselves into believing our lives are good enough when we know a better life lies just beyond where we’ve allowed ourselves to take shelter? How does apathy creep into our lives?
Questions?
Is it possible the solution to all the challenges and problems we face resides in our ability to ask better questions? Why do we embrace the superficial rather than taking on the deeper more challenging questions of life?
Is it fear?
What if it were as simple as not being willing to let go of whatever excuse we have made for not being where we would rather be?
Our rudimentary brain was designed to do just one thing. It was designed to protect us, to keep us safe from threats. The problem though, is all the saber tooth tigers are gone and we have moved out of the caves where we once lived. Unfortunately, our brains are still playing catch up…
Our brain will go to great lengths to protect us from all kinds of horrible things like embarrassment for example. Imagine being so concerned about what others might think of us for pursuing our dreams and goals we instead simply pretend that life is good enough just as it is, and if we’re not careful, the tiger might reemerge…
If we aren’t willing to risk failure, then we are resigned to live a life of safety and security and I’m not here to suggest there’s anything wrong with that unless you have somehow given up on your dreams and desires out of an unrealistic fear of judgment, ridicule, or a self-imposed limiting belief.
As a former oncology and hospice nurse and still active cancer support group facilitator, I can tell you from my own firsthand experience working with patients who have been put in touch with their own mortality, that regret is real…
Just like Bronnie Ware in her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, I have found that most people wish they had found the courage to do more, to take more risks. The number one regret patients reported according to Ware was as follows:
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
As reported in her book, this was the most common regret of all. “When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
Now in all fairness and for equal balance I must also acknowledge the second regret that came from almost every male patient she nursed:
“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
I believe it’s also important to put this regret into context with what the men in particular expressed about working so hard. She said, “They deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of work existence.”
It is this idea of the “treadmill of work existence” or as my friend Michael refers to, “the hamster wheel of life” that I want to explore further in this article, but before we move on, I think it’s important to capture one more element from The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
The fifth regret simply stated: “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
Ware writes, “Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called comfort of familiarity overflowed into their emotions as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
This leads to the bigger question I hope to have each of you considering after reading this. What are your greatest regrets so far? What would you like to achieve or change before you die?
What QUEST remains awaiting the one key element required for its attainment?
Yes, it’s of YOU I speak…
Are you one of those who has only honored at most, half of your dreams? Do you even remember when it was you gave up? Do you remember why? Have you deluded yourself into believing it’s too late? Are you ready for the truth?
As long as you have breath in your body, a mind clear enough to remember, and the health to get up and out of the bed in the morning, it’s not too late!
Begin your quest now, tomorrow morning at the latest, I’ll give you the night to think it over. If you’ve taken in the words, I’ve shared here, then you might for the very first time be realizing that we have a limited number of days on this spinning rock.
And I’ll acknowledge that yes it might be risky to begin the pursuit of a dream late in life, but I’ve got a little secret to share with all of you. Here’s how risky life is. It’s so risky that NONE of us are getting out alive so why not go for it! What are you waiting for?
I know what you’re thinking… You don’t know where to start, right? Refer back to the opening quote that inspired this article and I think you’ll find all the inspiration you need to begin your quest.
If that doesn’t do it for you then perhaps this one will:
“I prefer the gradual path. My feeling is that mythic forms reveal themselves gradually in the course of your life if you know what they are and how to pay attention to their emergence. My own initiation into the mythic depths of the unconscious has been through the mind, through the books that surround me in this library. I have recognized in my quest all the stages of the hero’s journey. I had my calls to adventure, my guides, demons, and illuminations.” ~Joseph Campbell
Remember…
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” ~Joseph Campbell
Stay tuned for the next article where I will go into greater detail around what I’ve recently discovered as it relates to the power of choosing or creating a quest to inspire permanent and lasting change in your life. As a matter of fact, I have worked out a process for you to follow if you choose. I have created a pathway or a gateway to your next big adventure and the only missing element is “YOU!”
Are you up for the challenge? Will you accept the mission? Are you QUEST ready?
Stay tuned…
Advance Confidently is the title of my next book, you will have to wait to celebrate its release as I celebrate my 60th birthday. I have concluded the world doesn’t need another self-help book from me right now, so I am listening to my muse and will write a sci fi personal growth story of self-discovery instead. Hmmm? Almost sounds like a quest, right? I believe you will be INSPIRED with the story that chose me to write it! I never saw it coming but now that it’s here, I can’t wait to share it with all of YOU! I know it will be worth the wait because that’s my commitment to you, my readers. Thanks in advance for your trust and patience!
In the meantime, I released a special audio short story on Twitter to commemorate my Independence Day and my 31st year of sobriety. You can watch/listen to the story here ( https://youtu.be/9zP4kk5OTlo ). You can find me on Twitter @bobby_kountz
Keep Pedaling, Keep Going, Keep Growing!
Advance Confidently!
If you enjoyed and found value in this article, please share it.
In Gratitude,
Bobby Kountz, Author, Speaker, Sobriety Scholar, Inspirationalist!
PS. You can find out more about me here. You can find my book on Amazon.
“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” ~Steven Wright
I consider myself to be not only an Inspirationalist, but also inquisitive. As a matter of fact, I would submit that I Am insatiably curious. My curiosity, just like a cat’s, often gets me into trouble, but since I’m writing this right now and since hopefully at least one other person will read it, we know that I have not met with the same fate as the cat…
In all seriousness though, what prompted the writing of this article was a mysterious text message that read as follows:
“Complications from Murphy’s Law may prevent me from attending today’s Zoom.” The message was also adorned with one of those upside-down smiley faces…
This message got me thinking about the potential effects of what might happen if we made an error in judgment and embraced a Murphy’s Law mentality. Is it possible that if we believe that things will most likely go wrong that they will? And if there is indeed any truth to this idea, what might the possible exact opposite thought be regarding this idea or concept?
This question is what led to my discovery of a little known and perhaps even secret law that I was unaware of…
Yhprum’s Law, according to Wikipedia, is the opposite of Murphy’s Law.
“Everything that can work, will work.” ~Yhprum
“Yhprum” is simply “Murphy” spelled in reverse.
For an interesting read on this topic, I recommend going to Wikipedia after you finish this article and look up Murphy’s Law. You will find that “Murphy” has managed to garner the attention of a political economy professor from Harvard University which is no small accomplishment.
If you now refer back to the title of this article you will find I intentionally used the phrase “turning the tables on” which I discovered is an old figure of speech referring to table games, or in French, the game of tables, or jeu de tables with an inference to the game of backgammon. It should be noted however, the term backgammon did not come into common use until the mid-1600s. A backgammon board was divided into four sections, each called a table and so there were four tables on a backgammon board. To turn the board around, then, was not to turn just one table, but all four tables. This idiom has also been used to describe turning the board around as it relates to the game of chess.
The most common use of this phrase would be when someone turns the tables on someone who in the moment appears to be in charge or in control of the conversation, but by introducing new information or a new idea to the conversation, suddenly finds themselves in the “driver’s seat” of the new conversation. Therefore, turning the tables, is about gaining a position of power. Hence, the cheeky reference to the “driver’s seat.”
Do you see where this is going yet? Good, I will stop now and stay on task. Let’s see if I can exercise some discipline and self-control to avoid the squirrel of temptation, “driver’s seat” and stay focused on Murphy!
Where was I? Oh yes, the text message. Does the acknowledgement of Murphy’s Law potentially invite him into our lives for a visit? If our mind is indeed the CPU (Central Processing Unit) of our lives, then perhaps we might consider installing an anti-virus program to prevent the possibility of any additional bad actors finding their way into our home (our mind) through the front door.
What do you suppose might happen if we left the front door of our home open while we went on a two-week vacation to some exotic destination? Well, I guess it all depends on where you live but I think you get the idea. And instead of going immediately to the dark side, let’s just entertain the idea that you live near the forest where there is a healthy population of bears who we happen to know enjoy discovering interesting and unique smells like the food in your pantry for example… You get the idea.
If we wouldn’t leave the front door of our home open for any of nature’s intruders to find their way in, why on earth would we leave the gate of our mind open to the possibility of whatever and whoever Murphy might be bringing along to have a party in our head while we’re not home?
Sometimes we must be willing to look at something from a different perspective to gain new insight about what a simple lapse in judgment could mean to the way we open ourselves up to unnecessary potentially devastating consequences.
Here’s an interesting follow-up to the first part of that text message which came the next day:
“Murphy’s Law prevailed! What time Tuesday?”
Fortunately, as far as I know, there were no devastating consequences, this time. But what about next time? Or maybe it will be the time after that? Is it possible the reason some people experience challenge after challenge and difficulty after difficulty is because unbeknownst to them, they’ve invited Murphy to come and hang out and he brought some friends with him?
What if Murphy brought along a couple of his best friends like self-doubt and insecurity? And I’m sure you’ve heard of the infamous “Doubting Thomas” and his girlfriend “Negative Nellie” and her friend “Hesitant Helen” right?
Now I realize you know I am making fun, but perhaps when it comes to something as important as our well-being and the well-being of our families, we can at a minimum make sure to at least close the front door, even if we don’t lock it.
Here’s a unique idea. What if instead of locking and bolting the door we instead sent out invitations to a completely different new and interesting group of friends? How about inviting over “Enthusiastic Edward” and his girlfriend “Confident Claire” and their friends “Optimistic Oliver” and the ever exciting “Inspirational Isabella” and let’s not forget Yhprum’s cousins “Happy Hal” and “Grateful George” and their best friend “Determined Delilah.” Imagine the party we could have with a guest list like that!
It has been said that metaphors are magical, and I think today we were able to turn the tables on Murphy… What do you think?
Advance Confidently is the title of my next book. You will have to wait to celebrate its release as I celebrate my 60th birthday. I have concluded the world doesn’t need another self-help book from me right now, so I am listening to my muse and writing a sci fi personal growth story of self-discovery instead. I believe you will be INSPIRED with the story that chose me to write it! I never saw it coming but now that it’s here, I can’t wait to share it with all of YOU! I know it will be worth the wait because that’s my commitment to you, my readers. Thanks in advance for your trust and patience!
In the meantime, I released a special audio short story on Twitter to commemorate my Independence Day and my 31st year of sobriety. You can watch/listen to the story here ( https://youtu.be/9zP4kk5OTlo ). You can find me on Twitter @bobby_kountz
Keep Pedaling, Keep Going, Keep Growing!
Advance Confidently!
If you enjoyed and found value in this article, please share it.
In Gratitude,
Bobby Kountz, Author, Speaker, Sobriety Scholar, Inspirationalist!
PS. You can find out more about me here. You can find my book on Amazon.
“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.” -Stephen R. Covey
If our character is basically a composite of our habits, we can effectively completely change our lives by changing our habits. Our current habits only define who we are at this present moment in time. They are only a snapshot of our current knowledge and understanding in this moment. At any given time, we can make a conscious choice to embrace new habits.
As important as they are, they don’t define who we will eventually be, because we have the ability to change our habits if we commit to making the necessary changes. The paradigm shifts we experience will be in direct proportion to our efforts in the application of each habit.
What do you want to be? A teacher? A writer? A computer technician? A pilot? A social worker? A coach? A business owner? An entrepreneur? What kind of life do you want to live? Everything is possible, one day at a time… If you’re not living the life you’ve always imagined you could, the one you’ve dreamed of living, choose to do so, and take the first step toward it.
Delete one habit that no longer serves you, that’s not moving you toward your goal, and replace it with one habit that does. Then do that again… and again. Change your habits one by one, one day at a time, and you will also change your character and eventually, you will change your life as you become the person you choose to be.
Excellence is a choice. Commitment is a choice. The willingness to change is a choice. Learning is a choice. Reading is a choice. There is no shortage of material on the subject of habits. All that’s required to change a habit is an open mind and the commitment to do the work. Change is only hard if we frame it as hard. Our belief about a thing is what will determine the level of difficulty or ease. If we believe it to be hard, it will most assuredly be hard…
In his best seller, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey lists being proactive as the first habit. Be Proactive! Take complete “response-ability” for your own life. When we take full responsibility for our life, we empower ourselves to make any and all changes necessary to achieve the results we desire. By changing the habits at the core of the results we experience, we also change our character and our life. We each have the ability to elevate our life through conscious endeavor.
“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” -Henry David Thoreau
Advance Confidently is still the title of my next book, but you will have to wait to celebrate its release as I celebrate my 60th birthday. I have concluded the world doesn’t need another self-help book from me right now, so I am listening to my muse and will write a sci fi personal growth story of self-discovery instead. I believe you will be INSPIRED with the story that chose me to write it! I never saw it coming but now that it’s here, I can’t wait to share it with all of YOU! I know it will be worth the wait because that’s my commitment to each of you, my readers.
Thanks in advance for your trust and patience!
In the meantime, I released a special audio short story on Twitter to commemorate my Independence Day and my 31st year of sobriety. You can watch the story here ( https://youtu.be/9zP4kk5OTlo ). You can find me on Twitter @bobby_kountz
Keep Pedaling, Keep Going, Keep Growing!
Advance Confidently!
If you enjoyed and found value in this article, please share it.
In Gratitude,
Bobby Kountz, Author, Speaker, Sobriety Scholar, Inspirationalist!
PS. You can find out more about me here. You can find my book on Amazon.
“Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today.” ~Ernest Hemingway
The greatest gift you ever give yourself will probably come in the form of time…
Unstructured time is the gift many of us have forgotten to schedule into our busy lives. Sometimes, we must be reminded that almost everything works better if it is occasionally unplugged… Yes, that includes YOU!
I recently had an article delivered into my inbox by the prolific author Jeff Goins! You know you’re really on to something when you get an article in your inbox on a topic that you’re already writing about. His article was delivered into my inbox a week after my trip to Yosemite where I intentionally unplugged from my day-to-day activities so I could reconnect with both nature and my inner-being.
If we ever hope to accomplish what we’re truly capable of, it won’t be by working harder, hustling, grinding, or trying to find the 25th hour in the day. Trust me, it doesn’t exist, I’ve looked for it, I’ve searched for it, and I couldn’t find it anywhere.
The same way I searched for “someday” that fictitious place we create to park our dreams, I also was unable to discover the 25th hour because it doesn’t exist either. We each have 24 hours in any given day to accomplish whatever it is we choose and if we can’t manage our time within that 24-hours, we do make a mess of things! Resource on Time in the article link below:
We must, and I will emphasize the must, we MUST make time for ourselves. We need space between the space. We need time between the time. The only way to make sure you get this most precious time is to schedule unstructured time into your day. Avoid the temptation to fill up every single minute. It can be intoxicating to look at a schedule that is full, from top to bottom, front to back, side to side, and say to yourself look at all that I’m doing, look at all that I have accomplished, when in reality, what you’ve really done, is cheated yourself out of the most important gift you could ever give, to the most important creature on the planet, “you.”
No one will be impressed when you show them your schedule and there’s no time in it for you. And, the truth is, there’s no way you can be as effective as you possibly can without making sure that you’ve taken the time to fill up your cup first. If you’re attempting to fill the cups of others without making sure to fill your own first, there will be nothing to pour into the lives of others. You cannot fill the cups of others from a depleted cup.
If you wish to make a real difference in the world then you absolutely, positively, must make time for yourself. This is non-negotiable. Well, hopefully, after reading this article, it will NOW be non-negotiable for you.
The purpose of this article is to get you to slow down long enough to understand that the only way for you to be the absolute best version of yourself is to make sure that you’re taking time for yourself. Unstructured time is the time we create on our calendar to reconnect with our breath. There is a space between our breath. We breathe in, and we breathe out. Between the breathing in and breathing out there is a space, there is a natural pause. I’m asking you to extend that pause. I’m asking you to intentionally extend that pause. Then, after taking the pause, I invite you to take a deep breath… Breathe in, breathe out, now one more thing, embrace the silence of the space between the space.
Our minds need room just like we need room. One of the best places to find the extra room we need is in the great outdoors. If the outdoors is not your jam, then maybe it’s the spa. I don’t know what does it for you, but whatever it is, you need to schedule time for it. Schedule unstructured time to embrace the space between the space. Schedule time to reconnect with your breath, to reconnect with your inner-coach, to silence all the chatter, including your inner-critic.
This is one of the greatest gifts you will ever give to your mind, and your soul will thank you later… It is the greatest gift you will ever give to your soul. It’s the greatest gift you could ever possibly give to your TEAM, to your family, and to your friends.
The “you” that returns to whatever it is you do on a regular basis to earn what you earn to provide for those you provide for, will be a “YOU” that is 10 times better than “the you” that left, than “the you” that was in the trenches, on the hamster wheel, grinding out the daily grind. Take a moment right now to reconnect with your breath.
Breathe!
And if you’re wondering about how you’re going to get everything done, let me remind you of something shared with me by my coach and mentor. He reminds me on a regular basis that slow is smooth and smooth is fast. Let me say that one more time so it sinks in, so you don’t just read past the words.
Slow is smooth and smooth is fast!
When I slowed down to experience everything available to me in Yosemite National Park, I gained clarity about the direction of not only my next book but the future of my life. I saw in the space between the space a life that looks exactly as I choose, a life by design, a life designed by me, for me and those I intend to serve.
You will find my most recent article on Yosemite here: Bobby Kountz
I made a commitment to a life of service over 31 years ago and I’ve done my best to honor that commitment the best way I know how. However, until we’re ready to look in the mirror and truly see our own inner-awesomeness, or as Michael describes, our inner-awesome sauce, we will only ever be providing a sliver of what’s possible in the way that we can show up for others, because we must first learn to show up for ourselves.
I am done playing small. I am finished hiding in plain sight. I am ready, willing, and able to embrace my inner-awesome sauce and share it with the world in every avenue I can possibly think of so that I can create a ripple across the planet and make the world just a little bit better so that my grandkids can experience a world worth experiencing.
I can’t pretend the challenges that face our planet are so great that there’s nothing I can do. I may not be able to solve all the challenges that currently exist, but I can show up and do my part every single day. And one of the best ways I can show up is to make time for myself. If my cup is overflowing, then I will have more than enough to spread across the planet to create the ripple that I’m capable of creating to make the difference that only I can make by fearlessly sharing the story that is only mine to share and I invite each of you to do the same.
Find a way to share your story in a way that only you can share it, because no one else can share the story that is “you.” If you want to make a real difference in the world then embrace your inner awesomeness, stop hiding in plain sight, find your voice, and share your message!
Here is my promise; when you find your own authentic voice, when you discover who you really are and what you’re capable of, you will have more confidence than you could have ever possibly imagined. It will show up for you in everything you do. Your family will notice. Your friends will notice. Your team will notice. Your employer will notice. Everyone will notice and the most important person that will notice will be you when you go to the mirror when you see yourself for the very first time. I mean, to really see yourself, the REAL you, the you that you always knew was somewhere inside…
Most of us are barely scratching the surface of what we’re capable of.
If you want to take your life to the next level, then give yourself permission to get off the hamster wheel. Go out and connect with your breath, connect with nature, connect with the space between the space and when you do, you will find the “you” that’s been hiding in plain sight all along. When you return to the mirror and you take a long look, what you will see will be a vastly different you than you’ve ever seen. Because you will be seeing you, the real you, for perhaps the very first time.
PPAUSE • BREATHE • REFLECT…
Image from Author’s Collection
My dear friend, mentor, and coach, Michael O’Brien has created a movement to get people to reconnect with their breath. The movement is very simply titled as you see in the line above, pause, breathe, reflect. He has a meditation room on clubhouse where he offers 5-minute meditations throughout the day, typically three to four times a day, and I’m inviting you to step off your hamster wheel and join us in the PAUSE, BREATHE, REFLECT room where you can get your breath on!
Get your BREATH on! Get your PAUSE on! Come reflect with us as we step off the hamster wheel of life to PAUSE, BREATHE, REFLECT… Join our 5-minute guided meditations to re-connect with your breath. You’ve got nothing to lose and a brand-new appreciation for life to gain! See YOU soon!
Finally, here’s a link to an amazing challenge: It’s the 20 Ripple Challenge to commemorate my friend’s last bad day ever! There are only 2 days left in the official challenge but any ripple you create is sure to make a difference!
If my words somehow inspired you to pursue your gift, then I succeeded…
Advance Confidently is still the title of my next book, but you will have to wait to celebrate its release as I celebrate my 60th birthday. I have concluded the world doesn’t need another self-help book from me right now, so I am listening to my muse and will write a sci fi — personal growth, story of self-discovery instead. I believe you will be INSPIRED with the story that chose me to write it! I never saw it coming, but now that it’s here, I can’t wait to share it with all of YOU! I know it will be worth the wait because that’s my commitment to you, my readers.
Thanks in advance for your trust and patience!
In the meantime, I released a special audio short story on Twitter to commemorate my Independence Day and my 31st year of sobriety. You can watch the story here:
You can find me on Twitter @bobby_kountz
Keep Pedaling, Keep Going, Keep Growing!
Advance Confidently!
If you enjoyed and found value in this article, please share it.
In Gratitude,
Bobby Kountz, Author, Speaker, Sobriety Scholar, Inspirationalist!
PS. You can find out more about me here. You can find my book on Amazon.
