How To Overcome The Feeling Of Not Being Good Enough
ADVANCE CONFIDENTLY!
“We are all born with wonderful gifts. We use these gifts to express ourselves, to amuse, to strengthen, and to communicate. We begin as children to explore and develop our talents, often unaware that we are unique, that not everyone can do what we’re doing!” ~Lynn Johnston
One of the easiest ways to overcome the feeling of not being good enough is to stop comparing your beginning to someone else’s middle or ending. For some unknown reason, we have a propensity to compare ourselves to other people instead of figuring out what our own unique contribution might be.
If you’re feeling some form of not quite enough, it’s most likely because you’re comparing yourself to someone else who’s further along than you or who you believe shouldn’t be further along than you. Maybe, because they’re younger than you and you have a preconceived idea of where your life should be at a specific moment in time and because you have not yet reached the destination you originally identified, you somehow feel less than the person who’s already achieved or attained the thing you believe you’re also equally capable of achieving or attaining…
There is a quote often misattributed to Einstein about how “everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
It doesn’t matter that Einstein never actually said what the quote expresses. The important lesson is wrapped up in the message. As expressed earlier in the article, everybody has a unique genius. Our job is to figure out what that something is. When we stop trying to compare ourselves to everyone else and embrace our own unique gift, whatever it might be, to make the difference in the world that we were intended to make, in that moment, we become a genius.
I believe the moment we were born, God (insert your own definition here), placed something special inside us and it’s our obligation to discover what that something is. When we discover our gift, we will no longer need to compare ourselves to others. We will only need to compare where we are today in relation to yesterday. And, if we have taken even the smallest of steps in the direction of what we feel called or compelled to do, we will be on our way.
One of the best descriptions I have ever heard as it relates to our gift was a definition given by Steve Harvey where he said, “our gift is the thing we do the absolute best with the least amount of effort.” Once we identify our gift, if we acknowledge it and embrace it, our lives will be changed forever.
Where most of us get hung up is trying to figure out how to monetize whatever we believe our gift is. This is normal, this is to be expected, because each of us have a responsibility at a minimum to ourselves, and many of us to our families. It can be exceedingly difficult for you to pursue your gift if you’re the one who’s responsible for making sure that the rent or mortgage gets paid and there’s food on the table for your children. This is the trap. This is the trap that so many get caught up in and struggle their whole life to escape from. It’s hard to trust in something we’ve never done before and then if we follow that gift, if we follow that dream, that it will provide for us in ways that we can’t even imagine…
It should also be understood that following your gift will come with a cost. There is a cost associated with pursuing your gift. Something will have to be sacrificed. Something will have to be given. Most are not prepared to give what’s required to follow their gift. There are so many stories about the starving artist and the struggling writer, and those stories dissuade others from pursuing their own gift. It’s hard to understand that if they gave themselves permission, they could find a way to make it work.
Where we get trapped is in believing it can only be done one way. If your gift is music and you’ve decided that the only way you can ever make it with your gift is to be a musician, then that might not be what you were called to do. There is an entire industry that supports the musicians that play for their audiences and many of the individuals in the music industry make a great living for themselves, but they are not musicians playing on stage. Instead, they support the musicians with their gift, and they play in a band with their friends for their own personal enjoyment or to make music just for the sake of it, rather than trying to make a living from it but they’re still working in music and they are therefore fulfilled.
As a writer and a speaker, I don’t know at what point I’ll be able to make the kind of living I’m accustomed to. However, doing what I know is my gift will eventually make room for the level of income I desire. Patience is required and I am becoming better at being patient because I have already seen my desired outcome. I have visualized it and now I am simply waiting for The Universe to catch up. What I do know however, is that if I’m not attached to the outcome, in other words, if I’m open to everything and attached to nothing, if I’m working in my gift, my gift will make room for me. Do I believe that gift will be in the form of a book and a speaking career that comes forward from that book? Absolutely!
It could just as well however come from me creating a business that supports other people in the pursuit of their dreams. A business that helps people overcome their self-limiting beliefs, their doubts, their fears, their shortcomings, their misgivings. It could simply be me saying enough times what I absolutely believe to be the truth about human beings and that’s simply this:
“Hidden within each of us is everything we need to achieve anything we can imagine.” ~Bobby Kountz
it is my steadfast belief in my own ability that I am certain will be what opens the door of infinite possibility for me and the work that I hope to do in the world. It will be me being curious, not judgmental, it will be me following the advice of Walt Whitman that will open the door of possibility. It will be this philosophy that will allow me to focus on my gift and co-create the life of my dreams. And, it will be done, one day at a time. It will be done the same way everything that has ever been done is done. It will be done, one day at a time.
Whatever it is you want to do, be, or become, if it involves your gift, I believe your gift will make room for you. Let go of the how and focus instead on the who and the what. Figure out who you need to become and what skills will be required to support whatever it is you want to do, be, or become. If you will do this, success is almost guaranteed.
There is a caveat. It is simply this, success has its own timeline and rarely does that timeline ever match up with the one we have created for ourselves. There is no such thing as an overnight success. If you investigate the lives of those who have achieved or accomplished great things, you will see that their lives were full of obstacles and adversity that they simply overcame, one day at a time.
Make your commitment. Make it today. Begin the work. Stay the course. Pay the price. Do the work. Follow your dream. Embrace your gift!
I am a writer.
I am The Inspirationalist!
I inspire people to pursue their gifts!
If my words somehow inspired you to pursue your gift, then I succeeded…
By the way, if you enjoyed this article, I believe you will thoroughly enjoy my next book, Advance Confidently. I look forward to sharing it with you on the 4th of July.
Keep Pedaling, Keep Going, Keep Growing!
Advance Confidently!
If you enjoyed and found value in this article, please share it.
In Gratitude,
Bobby Kountz, Author, Speaker, Sobriety Scholar, Inspirationalist!
PS. You can find out more about me here. You can find my book on Amazon.
